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work Dad Jokes
30 hand-curated work dad jokes
I was told to describe myself in one word in a job interview...
I said, 'bad at following simple instructions.'
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My boss said 'dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.'
So I went in as Batman.
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I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
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What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance
So I pushed her over
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I know a lot of jokes about retired people
But none of them work
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Why do some couples go to the gym?
Because they want their relationship to work out
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My boss told me to have a good day
So I went home
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Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels
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Why do only some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
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Did you hear about the archeologist that got fired?
Now his career is in ruins.
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How do you hire a horse?
Put up a ladder.
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My manager told me to have a good day.
So I didn't go into work.
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Why did the employee go work in stilts?
He wanted a raise.
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Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory?
He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
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Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they knead dough.
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I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because
I took a couple of days off.
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Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
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“I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
It turns out nobody thought I was fare.
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I once worked as an ice delivery driver.
Coolest job I've ever had.
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Why did the gym close down?
It just didn't work out.
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John had a blind date to a fitness center.
She didn’t show up, so I guess they won’t work out.
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I made a whopping six figures last year.
I also was fired from the toy factory for being too slow.
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To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
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Why are elevator jokes so good?
They work on so many levels.
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Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off.
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I got fired from my job at the bank today.
A customer asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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Why was the politician out of breath?
He was running for office.
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I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes, and he gave me a 5% raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric, and cable company."
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To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my word.
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