work Dad Jokes

30 hand-curated work dad jokes

I was told to describe myself in one word in a job interview... I said, 'bad at following simple instructions.'
My boss said 'dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.' So I went in as Batman.
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance So I pushed her over
I know a lot of jokes about retired people But none of them work
Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out
My boss told me to have a good day So I went home
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels
Why do only some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
Did you hear about the archeologist that got fired? Now his career is in ruins.
How do you hire a horse? Put up a ladder.
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
Why did the employee go work in stilts? He wanted a raise.
Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead dough.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
Why do some couples go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.
“I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out nobody thought I was fare.
I once worked as an ice delivery driver. Coolest job I've ever had.
Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out.
John had a blind date to a fitness center. She didn’t show up, so I guess they won’t work out.
I made a whopping six figures last year. I also was fired from the toy factory for being too slow.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
I got fired from my job at the bank today. A customer asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why was the politician out of breath? He was running for office.
I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes, and he gave me a 5% raise. Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric, and cable company."
To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.