My boss told me to have a good day

So I went home

More dad jokes you'll groan at

I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.I made a whopping six figures last year. I also was fired from the toy factory for being too slow.John had a blind date to a fitness center. She didn’t show up, so I guess they won’t work out.I was told to describe myself in one word in a job interview... I said, 'bad at following simple instructions.'I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes, and he gave me a 5% raise. Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric, and cable company."