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My boss told me to have a good day
So I went home
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because
I took a couple of days off.
I made a whopping six figures last year.
I also was fired from the toy factory for being too slow.
John had a blind date to a fitness center.
She didn’t show up, so I guess they won’t work out.
I was told to describe myself in one word in a job interview...
I said, 'bad at following simple instructions.'
I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.
Turns out he only does odd jobs.
I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes, and he gave me a 5% raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, "By the way, which companies are after you?" I responded, "The gas, electric, and cable company."