I was told to describe myself in one word in a job interview...

I said, 'bad at following simple instructions.'

More dad jokes you'll groan at

I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.I got fired from my job at the bank today. A customer asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on so many levels.Why do only some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.