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My kids should have been born in a different decade because
it's cheaper by the dozen.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
Me to my daughter: I know everything.
Daughter: Oh yeah, prove it! Me: I will later. *Later* Daughter: Dad can I have *friend's name* over? Me: No. Daughter: Why not? Me: Because I KNOW everything. If looks could kill, I'd be a ghost.
Dad can you put my shoes on?
No I don’t think they will fit me 👟
How many dads does it take to get you to clean your room?
One, but it takes 18 years!
Why didn’t the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10?
I asked him and he said, “I still love vista, baby.”
Why is the accountant also good at being a parent?
Having kids is taxing!
Today my son asked can I have a book Mark.
I totally burst into tears, he's 11 years old and still doesn't know my names Brian 🤣