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Why was the traffic light late to work?
It took too long to change.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
How do astronomers find asteroids headed toward earth?
With a collide-o-scope.
How did the citrus get to the prom?
In a lemonzeen!
What does a painter do when he gets cold?
Puts on another coat.
Why shouldn’t you use a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless.
How long is a piece of string?
Twice as long as half of it!
How do you weigh a millennial?
In Instagrams