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What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?
58!
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
If you feel like someone is watching you
You're not alone
My girlfriend just told me she’s had a Brazilian.
I’m not good with numbers, but that sounds like a lot to me.
I had a date last night, and it was perfect
Tomorrow, I'll have a fig
Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday?
Sunday, because Monday is a weekday.