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My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
Are my kids perfect?
No, but we can blame mom for that one!
Being a parent means never having a moment to yourself—
even in the bathroom.
Me to my daughter: I know everything.
Daughter: Oh yeah, prove it! Me: I will later. *Later* Daughter: Dad can I have *friend's name* over? Me: No. Daughter: Why not? Me: Because I KNOW everything. If looks could kill, I'd be a ghost.
I don't tell dad jokes that often.
But when I do, he usually laughs.
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because its mother was in a jam
Why couldn't the baby score in basketball?
He was always dribbling.