I was gutted when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said, 'You need to pay more attention at school pick up.'

More dad jokes you'll groan at

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids I'm a faux paHow many dads does it take to get you to clean your room? One, but it takes 18 years!Being a parent means never having a moment to yourself— even in the bathroom.Today, my son asked, 'Can I have a bookmark?' I burst into tears. Eleven years old, and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday. That's ridiculous, I didn't even know it was today!What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.