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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere!
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What's the best day to eat bacon?
Fryday.
My wife left me because I am insecure.
No wait, she's back. She just went to get coffee.
Why did the man get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing—they fast
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"
The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back to Austria for his Easter Break.
When he returns to California his friend says to him, "Arnie, I hear you went back home to Austria for Easter. How was it? To which Arnie replied [in Arnie voice]: "Oh it was terrible! My father, he ruined the Easter Egg hunt, he put all of the eggs in awful places and nobody could find any eggs and quite generally we all had an awful day." His colleague then says, "Oh Arnie that's no good at all, I'm sorry to hear! Does that mean you don't love easter anymore?" Arnie [Very important to read in Arnie voice]: "Oh no of course not - I still love Easter, baby."