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Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What do you call a busy waiter?
A server.
I've never been a fan of facial hair.
But now it's starting to grow on me.
What do you call an average potato?
A commentater.
What do you call recently-married spiders?
Newly-webs.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine!
Two friends are walking down the street thinking of something to do. One friend turns to the other and says, "Let's go get a drink, there's this new place that does THE best punch you'll ever drink."
So they make their way to the bar and walk straight up to the bartender "Bartender, two glasses of your best punch please." The bartender replies in a stern voice, "If you want some punch you're gonna have to get in line like everybody else." The friends turn and look around but there's no punch line…