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What did the cake say to the fork?
You want a piece of me?
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator?
Don't hate me because I'm a little cooler.
What did the computer do for his lunch break
Had a byte.
I‘ve spent the last five months traveling so, rather than tell a joke I thought I’d tell a story about one of the people I met.
So I’m in Cambodia, chilling at the beach and meeting people, as you do, chatting away and drinking. One of the guys I meet is Jurgen. He’s as wide as he is tall and he has this fantastic big belly that sticks out like a barrel. But that’s not what stands out about Jurgen. No, what stands out, is the enormous tattoo that he has written across his torso, over his belly. Five letters. One word. PIZZA. So as we’re drinking away and getting to know each other, my mind keeps wandering back to the tattoo. What’s the significance of it...What does it mean? Does it represent his social commentary on the state of the world? Is it a pet name? And the longer we sit there drinking, the more determined I am to work it out. So eventually, after a lot of beers, I pipe up the question. "Hey, Jurgen" “Yes, Dan" "Can I ask a question?" “Of course you can Dan" “What does the Pizza tattoo mean... Is it a childhood nickname? Does it have some kind of symbolic or deeper meaning?” And Jurgen puts down his beer and looks and me and just says, “No, I just love Pizza.
Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was
in tiers!
What do you call two ducks and a cow?
Quackers and milk.
An Italian businessman goes to Indonesia for a business trip. He hates Indonesian food, so he asked the concierge in his hotel, "Is there any restaurant where I can find Italian food here?" The concierge says, "You're lucky sir, a new pizza restaurant just opened and they deliver." The businessman asks for the restaurant's number, goes back to his room, and orders the pizza.
30 minutes later, the delivery person shows up with the pizza. He takes the pizza and eats it. Suddenly he's sneezing uncontrollably and shouting to the delivery person, "What did you put on this pizza?!" The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put exactly what you ordered on the phone, sir. It's pepper only"