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What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy?
A Sturgeon.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
What does a house wear?
Address
Why do only some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500 dollars."
"Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer." The man then asks about the next parrot and learns that it costs $1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot, only to be told that it costs $2,000 dollars. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"
What's a karate kids favourite drink?
Waataaaaaaa!