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What did the banana say to the boy?
Nothing, bananas can't talk!
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What kind of food should you pack when going to the beach?
A sandwich.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, just a little wine.
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing—they fast
Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back to Austria for his Easter Break.
When he returns to California his friend says to him, "Arnie, I hear you went back home to Austria for Easter. How was it? To which Arnie replied [in Arnie voice]: "Oh it was terrible! My father, he ruined the Easter Egg hunt, he put all of the eggs in awful places and nobody could find any eggs and quite generally we all had an awful day." His colleague then says, "Oh Arnie that's no good at all, I'm sorry to hear! Does that mean you don't love easter anymore?" Arnie [Very important to read in Arnie voice]: "Oh no of course not - I still love Easter, baby."
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.