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The batteries are flat.
No, they’re round
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why?
I guess I'm just a bit slow.
I accidentally handed my girlfriend the glue stick instead of the chapstick.
She still isn’t speaking to me.
A girl came into my bookstore and asked, 'What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?'
Slim to Nun.
Kid: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" Dad: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!"
🥪
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
I invented a pencil with an eraser on each end.
There’s no point to it.