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How do you make an egg-roll?
You push it!
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
I have an inferiority complex
But it's not a very good one
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head?
Matt.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What did the alien say to the landscaper?
Take me to your weeder.
How do astronomers find asteroids headed toward earth?
With a collide-o-scope.
Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver?
The sink