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Why do vampires always seem sick?
They're coffin.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
Why do submarines all run Linux?
you can’t open Windows under water.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go.
Two friends are walking down the street thinking of something to do. One friend turns to the other and says, "Let's go get a drink, there's this new place that does THE best punch you'll ever drink."
So they make their way to the bar and walk straight up to the bartender "Bartender, two glasses of your best punch please." The bartender replies in a stern voice, "If you want some punch you're gonna have to get in line like everybody else." The friends turn and look around but there's no punch line…
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because dawn is tough on Greece.
Why did the developer ground their kid?
They weren't telling the truthy.
How can you tell it's a dogwood tree?
By the bark