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What kind of bagel can travel?
A plain bagel.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
I've been thinking about taking up meditation.
I figure it's better than sitting around doing nothing!
What do you call phoney spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
What kind of felines can bowl?
Alley cats.
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing, they just waved at each other.
What word can you make shorter by adding two letters?
Short.
Two friends are walking down the street thinking of something to do. One friend turns to the other and says, "Let's go get a drink, there's this new place that does THE best punch you'll ever drink."
So they make their way to the bar and walk straight up to the bartender "Bartender, two glasses of your best punch please." The bartender replies in a stern voice, "If you want some punch you're gonna have to get in line like everybody else." The friends turn and look around but there's no punch line…