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A book fell on my head.
I only have my shelf to blame.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers
What's Forrest Gump's password?
1forrest1
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
Why are chemists great at solving problems?
Because they have all of the solutions!
I've never been a fan of facial hair.
But now it's starting to grow on me.
I've been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing
The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back