money Dad Jokes

12 hand-curated money dad jokes

How is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
Why did the cashier rip money in half? They were asked to break a bill
Did you hear about the actor who broke his leg onstage? He's still in the cast
How do you stop a bull from charging? You cancel its credit card.
How much money does a skunk have? Just one scent.
What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.
All vampires keep their money in a special place— the blood bank.
What are the least expensive type of teeth? Buck teeth.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
Why do hamburgers make poor witnesses? They won't talk no matter how you grill them!
Did you hear about the dry cleaner who got arrested? He was laundering money.
Once there was a man who went to an exotic country and came across a stall selling handmade handheld fans. He asked for the prettiest and longest-lasting one and the owner charged him a whopping $1,000! After using it the first time, it broke so he took it back for a refund. The owner listened to the complaints and finally asked him how he used the fan. The man demonstrated flapping the fan as one would normally do. Then the owner said, "Ah! No wonder! You have been using the fan wrong. This is the way to use it." Then, he held the fan and frantically moved his head left and right.