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Why did the strawberry cry?
He found himself in a jam.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
Have you seen those traffic circles or driven around them?
Well, they are pointless.
What's the easiest building to lift?
A lighthouse.
Why'd the roofer go to the doctor?
He had shingles.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
What a re-leaf.
A man walks into a bar, and it's empty - it's just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.
He hears someone whisper, "Pssst...I like your tie." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone. "Pssst...that color looks nice on you." He asks the bartender, "Excuse me, but...are you speaking to me?" The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts... they're complimentary."
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator