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Why did the scarecrow get an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
I went on Amazon to buy a lighter
but all they had were 3,472 matches.
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—
it was just gathering dust!
What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.
Why didn’t the bike want to go anywhere?
Because it was two-tired!
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided?
All the sailors were marooned.
Where do pirates buy hooks?
The second-hand store.