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What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste!
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes.
A man walks into a bar, and it's empty - it's just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.
He hears someone whisper, "Pssst...I like your tie." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone. "Pssst...that color looks nice on you." He asks the bartender, "Excuse me, but...are you speaking to me?" The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts... they're complimentary."
Why do turkeys play percussion?
They have drumsticks.
What is it called when someone steals your coffee?
A mugging.
Why did the snowman buy a bag of carrots?
He wanted to pick his nose.