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What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me!
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
A string walks into a bar and the bartender goes, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."
The string walks out all sad and defeated, then has a great idea. He ties himself in a bow, cuts off his ends to look all pretty, and struts back into the bar. The bartender looks at him and goes, "Hey, aren't you that string I turned away before?" and the string goes, "Nope! I'm a frayed knot!"
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Do you know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided?
All the sailors were marooned.
Where do wasps like to get lunch?
A bee-stro
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
He was shocked!