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I told my girlfriend she drew on her eyebrows too high
She seemed surprised
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
Our vacuum cleaner is getting old.
It's just gathering dust.
'Any last words?' asks the firing squad.
I answer, 'I hope you boys miss me.'
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
It is either one or the udder!
Why was the color green notoriously single?
It was always so jaded
Why was the bee's hair always sticky?
He used a honeycomb.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up on its own?
It was two-tired.