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I ate a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What did one candle say to the other?
Do you want to go out tonight?
A girl came into my bookstore and asked, 'What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?'
Slim to Nun.
Two friends are walking down the street thinking of something to do. One friend turns to the other and says, "Let's go get a drink, there's this new place that does THE best punch you'll ever drink."
So they make their way to the bar and walk straight up to the bartender "Bartender, two glasses of your best punch please." The bartender replies in a stern voice, "If you want some punch you're gonna have to get in line like everybody else." The friends turn and look around but there's no punch line…
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
Straw-berries
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt.
What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A bed