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Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
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More dad jokes you'll groan at
What did the full glass say to the empty glass?
You look drunk.
Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar?!
Well, he got 12 months!
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Ask someone to throw it to you.
Where do boats go when they’re sick?
To the dock.
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
He was a little shellfish!
Why did the man bring his watch to the bank?
He wanted to save time.