technology Dad Jokes

15 hand-curated technology dad jokes

I met a girl who said she wouldn’t date me because I used a dumb phone. So I texted her back 22266666655506665502299
How do you get the code for the bank vault? You checkout their branch.
What did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus.
How do you make a robot angry? Keep pushing his buttons.
Why did the computer catch cold? It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.
Why did the computer get glasses? To improve its website.
Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
How did Vikings communicate with one another? By Norse code.
Why do Swedish battleships have bar codes on them? So they can Scandinavian.
How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
Where do computers go to dance? The disk-o.
When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500 dollars." "Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer." The man then asks about the next parrot and learns that it costs $1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot, only to be told that it costs $2,000 dollars. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"